He is Worthy.

Is it really worth it? I have been asking this question for a while now, mostly subconsciosly until the past few days.. I cannot really ask it for my own sake, because I have had a pretty easy life thus far – I have not sacrificed too much. But I have seen others suffer…and I’m not sure I can tell them "It is worth it."

I do not have an answer for the above question, but yesterday it was pointed out to me that I am asking the wrong question anyway. Here is the right question: Is He worthy?

It is the right question, but I confess I am still not certain of the answer. With my lips I say "yes," and I see older Christians and missionaries crying (though not without tears) "Yes, yes! He is worthy of all praise and adoration!" I trust them, mostly – they have seen and experienced everything. I take their witness on faith, almost. But in my heart there is a hesitation; all the torture, murder, rape and all kinds of abuse that go on in the world, against those who are His children and those who are not, and against those who have never heard of Him.  It doesn’t seem fair.  Is He worthy?

I don’t like it. It doesn’t seem right for a young missionary to feel the way I do; to have this kind of uncertainty. I don’t know what to do about it, so I cry with Moses, Lord, show me Your glory. Show yourself worthy to this Your undeserving servant that I may truly worship You.

Exodus 33-34

What Is Missional?

When a word buzzes like a bee polinating flowers outside my apartment, it begins to fragment into personalized meanings. Fundamentalist, Evangelical, Missional, and Emergent are all terms that have been eroded in an onslaught of personalization, heresay, ambiguity, rhetoric, propaganda, and poor journalism (and blogging).

In times of fragmentation and poor definition, a good English student knows what to do: go to the Oxford English Dictionary:

missional, adj.

Relating to or connected with a religious mission; missionary.

1907 W. G. HOLMES Age Justinian & Theodora II. 687 Several prelates, whose missional activities brought over whole districts and even nationalities to their creed. 1976 J. R. NELSON in P. J. McCord Pope for all Christians? 165 In fairness to John Wesley, it can be presumed that in his self-awareness as a virtually monarchical leader of the movement he was guided by this missional principle. 2000 Star Tribune (Minneapolis) (Electronic ed.) 18 Mar., We are trying to help NAE to be more intentional in its missional focus.

Now over a hundred years old, missional has branched out from being about missionaries in the traditional sense to being about every person in the church community. A missional church has a wholistic "religious mission." And what is the religious mission of Christians other than the Great Commission:

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

So missional is a the participation of the church community in the discipleship, baptism, and teaching of all nations in the way of Jesus. How missional is put into practice is the stumbling block for many in the "missional" conversation.

The future of missional depends upon the renewing of vocation within Christian communities. For a church to become missional it must level the playing field for the individuals-in-community through humility and respect for the vocation of others. Pastors need not be higher valued than plumbers. As each member finds their role within a community at large, their vocational role must be defined as a "religious mission." With the recovery of vocation within the missional church, every member of a congregation may pray as St. Francis of Assisi:

Most High, Glorious God, enlighten the darkness of our minds. Give us a right faith, a firm hope and a perfect charity, so that we may always and in all things act according to Your Holy Will. Amen.

Missional then is the renewing of our lives so that we do "all things" with a "religious mission" according to the will of our most High, Glorious God. Only then will missional make sense because it will be not a system or concept but a way of life that is the way of Jesus.

This post is part of the Missional SynchroBlog organized by Blind Beggar.

The other participants in the MissionalSynchroBlog are:

Alan Hirsch
Alan Knox
Andrew Jones
Barb Peters
Bill Kinnon
Brad Brisco
Brad Grinnen
Brad Sargent
Brother Maynard
Bryan Riley
Chad Brooks
Chris Wignall
Cobus Van Wyngaard
Dave DeVries
David Best
David Fitch
David Wierzbicki
DoSi
Doug Jones
Duncan McFadzean
Erika Haub
Grace
Jamie Arpin-Ricci
Jeff McQuilkin
John Smulo
Jonathan Brink
JR Rozko
Kathy Escobar
Len Hjalmarson
Makeesha Fisher
Malcolm Lanham
Mark Berry
Mark Petersen
Mark Priddy
Michael Crane
Michael Stewart
Nick Loyd
Patrick Oden
Peggy Brown
Phil Wyman
Richard Pool
Rick Meigs
Rob Robinson
Ron Cole
Scott Marshall
Sonja Andrews
Stephen Shields
Steve Hayes
Tim Thompson

Journey to Life: A Memoir

It has been almost three years since I traveled across the state of Alaska with four other energetic college students and recent grads.  The destination was not as far from home for me as it was for everyone else since I was born and raised in interior Alaska, but the experience has had a great effect on every step I have taken since the last day of debrief in August 2005.  It was the kind of summer one has to recover from.  By now I have gone through the stages of depression, withdrawal, doubt, times of seriously questioning my sanctification….  But even today, talking to my friends from SEND of Alaska’s Summer Missionary Program (SMP) sometimes reminds me of what I imagine an AA meeting to be like. 

I am getting ahead of myself; let me give you a little background information before I get on with my story.  Currently, I am moving steadily toward long term ministry through the church in western Alaska.  But I have not always been moving west.  God has brought me to missions in Alaska through Africa, which was the location of my first summer mission trip.  I went on this initial trip in response to my guilty conscience about not wanting to be a missionary and my desire for adventure in the wilds of Africa.  But God worked with me there and I came home not so set on my original plan to be a rich and wild rancher in Wyoming.  I guess I saw there what I had been unwilling to see all around me up until that time: the orphans, the widows, the poor and downtrodden – and the fact that I had a role to play in it all.  The following summer my youth group went to help at a Bible camp in western Alaska called Kako (the Yupik word for "clay").  There I learned that there are "orphans and widows" in my own state.  I did not have to go across the sea for a "3^rd world adventure" – it was right next door if I had eyes to see it.  So I logged that information away and finished high school and three years of college. 

Then in 2005 as I contemplated what I would do after the impending college graduation, I decided to try SMP and see if western Alaska might really be where God was leading me.  This Summer Missionary Program is an 11 week program (June through August) in which teams are sent out to regions of Alaska and the Yukon Territory.  Each team spends at least a week working at a Bible camp of some kind and the other weeks are divided between about three Native villages per team.  The teams are made up of mostly college age students from the US, Canada, and even Germany.  And just as I had hoped, I was placed on one of the Western teams.

At the risk of building it up too much, that summer as an SMPer will always stand out to me as one of the experiences that changed my life.  In each village we would hold a Vacation Bible School for the kids, which took up about a third of the time we spent in that village.  The rest of the time we basically made ourselves available.  That meant going fishing, berry picking, visiting the homes of our VBS kids and eating whatever Eskimo foods were set before us.  I will never forget the time I caught a pink "humpy" salmon with a couple of the teenagers and then had to cut it with an "ulu" for an audience comprised of one older Yupik woman, speaking only Yupik, one German teammate, speaking broken English, and a handful of kids, all pointing, laughing and offering friendly advice.  Other opportunities included leading a church service, another time it was a ladies’ brunch, often it meant staying up until 3:00am. We mostly just hung out with people, but I had never lived every moment so purposefully in my life as I and my team did in those nine and a half weeks.  It was intense, we were challenged and every moment was more than we could have handled without God’s grace.  I know we could not have kept that pace physically forever, but I did not want it to end; it was a summer of much joy. 

Not that it was comfortable, or easy, or even "successful."  We saw a lot of pain too; it mingled with the joy of loving others like the beauty of the sparkling snow in the moonlight mingles with the danger of extreme cold on a winter night.  For some reason, it just felt right.  I think it was because I was really living; I was not "coasting through," "just getting by," or "killing time."  I was in Christ, a new creation; I was there for His purpose, struggling to walk in Him and working it out as part of a team.  At the end of the summer I was required to write a letter to myself, here is an excerpt which I think illustrates the sense of being I had gained over the previous weeks: 

8/15/05

Well, it’s been a few months, where are you?  Do you remember what you learned over the summer?  Everything you had known about God was deepened – you came to understand much that had only been theory before…. God is so worthy of praise, so great and mighty!  Remember what you saw in the villages – the darkness and lostness – the void.  Do not lose your burden for those who are lost.  What you saw was the same soul condition of people all over the world, don’t forget just because the people in Philadelphia clean up nicer.  Never forget that you are a Light bearer.  Shine brightly. 

Don’t get lazy, and don’t forget that people come before school…. Remember also your dependency on God and the "blessedness of possessing nothing."  Everyday this summer you walked by God’s grace and trusted in His faithfulness.  You knew that it was not you doing the work, but Him through you.  You saw God use you in your weakness – you learned to put your security in Him…. Don’t look for others to validate you.  If you are feeling bitter and pitiful, snap out of it.  Read 2 Corinthians, 2 Peter, and James again.  Be who God has made you to be. 

Dig deep into God’s Word, encourage those around you, keep on relating to people… 

I had known that I was where I was supposed to be in western Alaska, and I knew it even when I felt helpless.  It is like I have heard many of my elders say, "the safest place to be is in God’s will."  Not financially secure, medically insured, or with every resource at your fingertips.  I did not want to forget this.  However, by the time the SMP directors sent this letter to me in November 2005, I needed the reminder.  I was bitter and disappointed with the apathy and hypocrisy of my fellow Christians.  I was angry with myself for my own hypocrisy, angry at others for not comprehending the suffering I had seen and at myself again for forgetting so easily.  I felt far away from the world of western Alaska that I had grown to love.

It has taken a long time to figure out how to adjust back into mainstream American culture without denying the truth I found in western Alaska.  I have graduated from college and spent two years working in an elementary school, a coffee shop, and as a receptionist for an air service.  I got through the awkward "can I really bathe everyday? What luxury!" stage, and I do not cry every night because no one understands anymore.  But I have had to fight for it.  I am still figuring out how to walk in what I learned about faith and dependence on God.  That summer changed me, and though it is tempting to give up and give in to the pull toward the smooth and wide road through life, I can never go back to the trivial way I lived before.  Life is not as simple as it once was, but it is richer.  Some of my fellow SMPers have shared similar reflections, my friend Karen has written: 

"It almost felt like Alaska ruined my life… and in a sense, it did.  In the end I’d say that I was changed mainly for the better, but rather painfully. I didn’t care about anything I used to care about." 

There seems to be distaste for the mundane life after surviving a summer in the wilds of rural Alaska; what Karen had formerly thought important no longer held meaning – but I do not credit that to the simple fact that she spent some time in the great state of Alaska.  It must be the way she lived in Alaska.

When one looks at Psalm 119 in relation to this it is striking, because it is both God’s Word and the petition of his child.  There must be something to learn about God and ourselves in relation to Him.  The Psalmist says: "Teach me good discernment and knowledge,/For I believe in Your commandments" (v. 66).  This is something many of us have prayed.  How does God answer?  The Psalmist goes on in verse 67:

"Before I was afflicted I went astray,/But now I keep Your word./You are good and do good; teach me Your statutes…. It is good for me that I was afflicted,/That I may learn Your statutes./The law of Your mouth is better to me/Than thousands of gold and silver pieces."

I wonder if what these words mean is that God afflicts us (with dissatisfaction with our own comfort and the trivial things that take up most of our time, and heartache for those who are suffering), in order to answer our prayer that He teach us His ways, His wisdom; our request of Him to "open our eyes, that we may behold wonderful things from Your law/instruction"? (v. 18).

Perhaps, as pastor and theologian John Piper says, He has ruined our lives so that we can begin to really live! It is true that ours is a dark world and that the darkness seems to press in on us from every side.  It is often more than we can bear – but when we reach that point, the Psalmist teaches us again to pray "I am Yours, save me!" (v. 94).  Perhaps God sends us to "Alaska," and back again to where we came from, in order to "push [us] to [our] limits, so that He can enlarge them," to quote novelist Jan Karon.  And as the Psalmist says in verse 32: "I will run in the way of Your commandments,/For You will enlarge my heart."

Now that it has been a few years I can see that God did not leave me high and dry after SMP.  This summer program was not just the proverbial mountain-top experience.  God has been faithful and is even now leading me back to western Alaska for another chapter.  But not because that is the only place I can "really live."  No, western Alaska is the path that I have chosen, in Him, to work out the life He has called me to live. 

I must add that I do not think these "revelations" of mine are unique to those who participate in SMP.  The central truth in what I have learned is that where one goes, and what one does, are matters secondary to the fact that "in Him we live and move and have our being," and "unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit"; and, finally, "I am crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me."  This is the life we were created for!  And I pray God will continue to give me this life, even if it means continually going to "the ends of the earth."

How to Help: Giving the Gift of Life

Christians are called not only to meet the spiritual need of the world, but also the physical needs faced by individuals. The Bible is filled with commands to care for widows, orphans, the poor, and the sick. However, in an age when TV, radio, and the internet bring the world’s needs right to our door, it can be overwhelming to decide what need to meet, much less how to meet it. The problem is compounded by the constant debate in both public and private forums as to who is responsible to meet these needs. Should individuals, charities, faith-based groups, or the government play the primary role in feeding, clothing, and healing the needy? The vast amount of need and the debate that comes with it provides an easy excuse for Christians to not get involved. In light of that, this is the first in a series of posts on real everyday needs and practical ways they can be met.

Giving The Gift of Life

• Every two minutes, someone in the United States needs to receive blood.¹
• Nearly 5 million people each year receive blood transfusions.²
• At least 25% of people will need to receive blood at least once in their lifetime.³
• Only 5% of eligible blood donors actually donate blood.⁴
• A single unit of blood can save up to 3 lives.⁵

Blood transfusions are an important part of medicine. They are used to help accident victims, burn victims, and those surviving natural disasters. They are used to save and stabilize babies who are born prematurely. And they are also used to treat a number of diseases, including cancer, hemophilia, and sickle-cell anemia. Even various surgeries and organ transplants require blood to be replaced from an outside source. Because of the importance of blood in medical procedures, it is just as important for people to donate blood. There is no substitute for human blood. Science cannot manufacture it, and no animal blood can be used. The only way for doctors, hospitals and other healthcare providers to acquire the blood necessary to save lives is through voluntary donations by healthy people.

There are very few ways of helping people that provide as big an impact for so little effort. Blood donations only take about an hour and have no negative health side effects. In fact, for most health people, there is no reason not to donate blood. The American Red Cross has even provided a list of 10 common excuses and why they are not excuses. The Red Cross also has information on where and how to donate, as well as testimonies of people whose lives have been saved through blood transfusions.

Amid all the debate currently going on in the public forum about healthcare, there is still an easy, practical way for individuals to help those suffering. Donating blood can and does save lives everyday. And it seems fitting for those claiming to share the gift of eternal life to also share the gift of physical life where possible.

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<sup>1. American Red Cross
2. American Red Cross
3. The Mayo Clinic
4. American Red Cross
5. American Red Cross</sup>

A Person, not a Proposition

(Part of the Post-modern Apologetics series) 

An interblog discussion between Through a Glass Darkly and Everyday Liturgy has begun, with David Opderbeck’s first post entitled Post-modern Apologetics: a Person, not a Proposition.

Since we are co-blogging this, I am next up to continue the conversation, which I will do in a forthcoming post tentitively called Post-modern Apologetics: Returning to the Source(s).

An Unconventional Christmas

This year for Christmas I’m trying to get past the traditional consumerism of our culture by doing something a bit unconventional. Instead of doing the traditional splurge on buying gifts, there will be a new spin on it: we’re going to purchase gifts to give to one another in the form of unique donations and fair trade items to benefit the poor, hungry and recently freed slaves in the world. So instead of giving someone your old stuffed goat, you can actually ”give” a loved one or friend a real goat that will feed and economically sustain an impoverished family in the third world! Or, you can give a necklace or handbag made by a woman rescued out of a brothel.

Some suggestions:
-Join the group ”Unconventional Christmas Shoppers” on Facebook and pick a website/cause/item from the list that you feel drawn to.
-Go to the Holy Grounds Cafe in Allendale, NJ and ask about their ”Slavery Still Exists” t-shirts
-Check out the items that the really cool organization called Ten Thousand Villages (run by the Mennonite Central Committee) sells.
-If you’re interested in jewelry or handicrafts made by survivors of commercial sexual exploitation, email me (Janelle) about buying some jewelry/embroidery/cards I have from a few different organizations in Thailand. My e-mail is jemilazzo AT gmail DOT com
-Keep in mind that if you’re ordering items from the third world in time for a Christmas party, depending on the website (smaller operations), you might have to rush the order to get it on time. (Usually the websites say how long it takes to ship things.)

Shopping Guide Quick Reference:

World Vision
Made By Survivors
Heifer
Kiva
Fair Trade Sports
International Justice Mission
Pura Vida
Ten Thousand Villages
Maadi Church of St. John the Baptist
Restore NYC

Happy Giving!