Driving Lessons, Lars and The Real Girl, and Community
I watched Lars and The Real Girl last night. I don’t want to give any of the movie away, but I think it should be sought out. Don’t be scared off by the life-size doll. It’s not what you think.
In the past two movies I have seen, Driving Lessons and Lars and the Real Girl, religious communities are central to the protagonist’s life. In Driving Lessons the hypocrisy of the community almost destroys the protagonist. The opposite happens in Lars and the Real Girl. The community of faith saves Lars from destroying himself.
The answers to Lars’ problems are not textbook. Lars is an individual who needs specialized care. The movie forces us to consider that mental illness is reedemable, and that the cause of mental illness, whether chemical, biological, genetic, or environmental, is not important. As the doctor/psychologist ("they need to be both up this far north") says to Lars’ brother: it is Lars’ problem to deal with, you just need to be there to help him out.
Sometimes the community of faith likes to suffocate and meddle, as in Driving Lessons. Well, probably too often that happens.
What the community of God needs to do is to come along side a person who is having problems, help them in any way they need, but not try to solve the problem. Life is hard and complex, and a person needs to solve it themselves, in there own way, while the community supports them. Solving other people’s problems is like paying someone’s late car payments over and over again—it never lets a person hit rock bottom and become responsible when the repo guy comes knockin’ and they have to get serious about their problem. Lars’ church community gives him the space to fix his problems while at the same time admonishing him for his selfishness and anxiety.
Communities are for support, not problem solving. And that takes patience, courage, and a trust in God first and not in man’s wisdom as the best answer.
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