He is Worthy.

Is it really worth it? I have been asking this question for a while now, mostly subconsciosly until the past few days.. I cannot really ask it for my own sake, because I have had a pretty easy life thus far – I have not sacrificed too much. But I have seen others suffer…and I’m not sure I can tell them "It is worth it."

I do not have an answer for the above question, but yesterday it was pointed out to me that I am asking the wrong question anyway. Here is the right question: Is He worthy?

It is the right question, but I confess I am still not certain of the answer. With my lips I say "yes," and I see older Christians and missionaries crying (though not without tears) "Yes, yes! He is worthy of all praise and adoration!" I trust them, mostly – they have seen and experienced everything. I take their witness on faith, almost. But in my heart there is a hesitation; all the torture, murder, rape and all kinds of abuse that go on in the world, against those who are His children and those who are not, and against those who have never heard of Him.  It doesn’t seem fair.  Is He worthy?

I don’t like it. It doesn’t seem right for a young missionary to feel the way I do; to have this kind of uncertainty. I don’t know what to do about it, so I cry with Moses, Lord, show me Your glory. Show yourself worthy to this Your undeserving servant that I may truly worship You.

Exodus 33-34