Praying Lamentations with a Shrug and a Sigh

I try to model my prayer life by using the psalms and Scripture as the foundation of my words, that one of the chief practices of prayer is to pray God’s words back to God and pray that the words are made true once again in my own life.  This is modeled in both testaments as the people of God focus their prayer on the promises and story of God and ask that he re-enact the story again. This leads me to, when frustrated, not say “God I hate you” but to begin to lament.  The tricky thing about lamenting, and why it is not just unbridled anger or disappointment with God, is that the lamenter knows the outcome, even if it seems far-fetched.  The lamenter is always faithful, even when doubting. There is a reality to my laments—I know that one day I will look back and see that what was heavy on my heart has been fulfilled, probably in a way I never could have guessed.  Yet I still lament.  I need to.  God desires that I lament, for the Spirit itself groans for us when we cannot or are unwilling.  God laments for us.  And God will remind us of how our lament is fulfilled when that day comes.  And I know it will come.  I do. But sometimes I just don’t believe it.

And in this temporal doubt the lamenter calls forth the word of God again. Here’s an excerpt from a lament I wrote a while back: The birds that sung have hidden The trees that bloomed have heaved Their fruits upon the ground far Too early, before Spring has sprung From them ripeness and rinds Plump with the power of soil and sun. The winds have come and blown them Down upon the dusty earth. The rains have spoiled the stems And the leaves in their youth. The darkness has caused the plants To wilt in the garden groves before The root has tied a Gordian knot With the ground.