The Power Struggle of Fasting

Our church is doing a twenty-one day fast, and we are now in the home stretch. My wife and I gave up dessert, and watching Stephen Colbert’s showcase of his Ben & Jerry’s ice cream a couple of days ago was tempting us to break the fast a few days early. But we have stayed the course.

For us, this fast has been about discerning the new direction God is pushing us in. We have felt the Spirit’s movement the past three years to seek out a new direction for our family in service for his kingdom, and we have struggled to discern how this is supposed to happen.

This year though, we have felt the Spirit tugging at our hearts. This is the year of our change. This fast has been about discerning how that will happen.

Nothing has been answered during the fast.

Zero.

Zilch.

Nothing. It’s still a relentless ambiguity. Praying for discernment has the common feeling now of running into a cinder block wall. I have become used to not discerning any response except to be hopeful.

But hope only last so long. We are human, remember God?

This is the power struggle of fasting we are facing. As we continue in hopefulness and patience, the desire to circumvent discernment and just do something—anything—has become a serious temptation. We just want to make a change in our lives. Stir up the waters. Make something happen.

It’s in that selfish desire that fasting helps. Fasting has offered us no solutions. To the outsider, it appears to have no benefit except weight loss. But for me, the simple, selfless act of giving something up reminds me that I need to give up my power and will as well.

Not my will but yours.

I hate that prayer so much. But I need it.

Not my will but yours.