Which Baptism to Choose?: My Story
With a child on the way, I have had to start confronting some of the realities of raising a child in the church. I already have some ground rules: no lame Christian music, no WWJD bracelets, and no corny Christian t-shirts.
Beyond that, I have been wrestling with the concern of baptism. I lean toward infant baptism (I’d say I’m 60% for infant baptism and 40% for believer’s baptism), but have a more open stance on the issue (which I’ll get to in a later post). For now, as an introduction to this series on Which Baptism to Choose?, I wanted to share my baptismal stories, because I think that has had a lot of influence on my own thinking.
I was recently asked by a friend about my thoughts on baptism, and to really explain my stance on baptism I have to start with my baptismal stories. I say stories because I have more than one: I was double dipped.
I grew up in the Lutheran church (both LCMS and ELCA), and so was baptized as an infant, which is customary in the Lutheran tradition. “The understanding of baptism in the Lutheran church is: Baptism begins a life throughout which we grow in faith and service through instruction, reminders of God’s love, and the support and example of the Christian community” (Baptism: Lutheran View, ELCA). This is basically how I grew up in the faith—I didn’t have a major salvation event or pray the sinners prayer, I just continued to grow in faith and service through participating in the church, and made the decision gradually to own my faith.
In high school though we began attending a non-denominational church where believer’s baptism was taught. I felt some pressure to be baptized again when I heard the testimonies of those who were being baptized again “for real” this time, but I never felt any pressure from the church or the pulpit itself. Part stubbornness and part confusion, I decided to not be rebaptized—even in high school I had a theological understanding that baptism was baptism no matter what denomination and should be mutually respected (I was adamant about church unity from a young age, I think).
Then came college. I started helping out at a baptist church as a youth leader and immediately felt pressure to be rebaptized. I was told on numerous occasions that my infant baptism didn’t count, and that I needed to be baptized again. I kind of balked at the beginning, but the guilt and confusion grew until I decided to be baptized again just to make sure I covered all the baptismal bases.
Getting baptized again didn’t lead to a peace of mind, it just made me a little bitter. I began to think I should have taken it back, because I was baptized for the wrong reasons, even though so many had said it was the right thing to do! In a supreme case of irony, I had turned what those eager baptists said was an act of faith and turned it into a personal work toward my salvation.
This remorse for my second baptism led me to retrace my roots through theology, and I came to terms that I preferred infant baptism to believer’s baptism, especially since I had begun to reclaim a higher view of the sacraments. I have had to revisit these views all over again recently though, because I don’t want my child to have to go through this same baptismal tug-of-war that I went through. Have any of you had a similar baptismal experience to me?
In the next post, I’ll dialogue about my understanding of believer’s baptism today.
Wow, this is almost my story exactly. I was baptized as an infant in the RCA church. My understanding was that baptism had some connection with a sign as belonging to God’s community in a convenental way analogous to circumcision in the Old Testament. Later, I was volunteering for a baptist church and felt pressure to be baptized again. Though I never went through with it, I still feel some of the bitterness in the way those things were handled. I think both sides have valid arguments and it is a tough issue.
I too was baptised as a wee bub in the lutheran thread of denomination, and then in my teens publicly affirmed this in the ‘rite’ of confirmation. In high school however, I met a baptist-heritage girl who was preparing for her baptism, and I sensed that it had more of an initiation aspect, which I appreciated – she was then considered a full-fledged adult of the congregation. And I began to wonder about my parents baptising me… but have just remained grateful for it. My brother, on the other hand, deeply resents the fact that this was ‘done’ to him without his consent and perhaps it has been a real ‘stumbling block’ for his faith-path.
However, I do wish that baptism wasn’t taught as a one-stop salvation shop (to put it crudely) – where the emphasis is on human effort/ works, even if this is not the implication meant. Symbols and rituals are important, yes, but there’s always so much more going on than what we can put into words. Baptism isn’t a one-off event… it’s been happening since the waters were hovered over by the Spirit, in whom we now live and move and have our being….
Re-baptising someone also seems completely unnecessary and to me suggests that an infant/ previous baptism wasn’t up to a perceived standard or had no benefit. Plus, once one has had a re-birthday, it’s not like they need to have a re-re-birthday… surplus!
These days I’m beginning to realise that no matter what people say/ think/ do, God includes them in the great circle of belonging. I think that it’s called “open set” theory, or to do with Perichoresis teachings. There are no limits to that, and it is a non-anthropocentric viewpoint, which I find humbling but rather peaceful.
Justin and Bec,
I appreciate your thoughts on this issue. It seems to be an experience that many people go through when they switch between denominations and faith communities, but it is seldom talked about.
God is more concerned about the heart than the wet. And I’m sure more merciful than we oft give Him credit for. OT circumscision meant nothing without obedience of the child as an adult. Is NT baptism any different?
Rich,
That’s a great point, and something worth mentioning in my future post on infant baptism.
This is such a tricky thing, and we’ve been thinking about it a lot, too. I was raised in low church traditions (mostly charismatic), and so was biased against infant baptism in favor of “baby dedications” from an early age. But the older I get, the more I wonder about this. And though I recite the Nicene Creed without hesitation, I know that folks sitting on the pew beside me mean something different than I do when they “acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins”… and I just don’t know what to think about it.
On a different note, some members of my family have been baptized more than once as adults–multiple dips, you could say–just to be sure that the baptism “took.” It’s like when I was a little girl asking Jesus into my heart on multiple occasions to make sure I was ‘really’ saved. I’ve spoken with many others who felt the same way growing up, so there must be something wrong with the teachings here, in some churches at least.