Yea who are weary…

Last night I couldn’t sleep. So many thoughts running through my head -
it’s become a common problem. There were even lines of poetry, but I
couldn’t get up to write them down because there are people sleeping in
every room. The poetry is gone now, drowned out by the activity of
today.

The prayers are still here though. I prayed a lot last night – through
the unwanted stream of consciousness. Prayed for Minnie, Kurt, Harvey,
Kristi, Bri, Lydia, Chris, Harold, Leemon, Billy, Marietta, Erica, Lola
- and others, almost everyone I know, especially people from here where
I am. Or maybe it was today I prayed, in church, Reuben’s Yupik
suplications in the foreground.

In the darkness there echoed a reminder – like churchbells telling everyone "it"s time:" My ways are not your ways…as high as the heavens are above the earth, so are My thoughts higher than yours….
And I am glad, if it is possible to use that word, though the tears are
streaming down my face – though it’s hard to breath and I’m so tired I
cannot sleep and don’t want to face another tomorrow.

I am glad there is something, someone outside myself – above this world
and all its pain. Someone who makes sense of it all when I cannot put
the peices together.

The echo comes again: Seek the Lord while He may be found! My heart swells and breaks – pleading the same for those I love.

Love? How can I even say the word? I am incapable of loving these
people – I am too selfish and weak, and the little I have has already
been depleated. My spirit is utterly impoverished…and yet, I am
promised the kingdom of heaven – and I have learned the secret in
plenty or in want I can do all things through Christ who strengthens
me. And I know Abba, that your word will not return to you empty.