[Leah] conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children. -Genesis 29:35
It happened. It was unfortunate, but it happened. Jacob worked seven years for Laban in order to have Rachel as his bride, but Laban, a trickster like his nephew, slipped in Leah on the wedding night—much to Jacob’s surprise! I can understand Jacob’s frustration. After all, that’s not who he worked for. Leah was no Audrey Hepburn. Heck, she was no Rachel. Rachel was beautiful. Leah, plain. Rachel was a 10. Leah, a 5.
So, Leah did what any rational wife would do–have babies while her sister Rachel couldn’t. What’s stopping her?
When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless (v. 31).
God gave her a gift—the gift of children. But, instead of being grateful, she becomes indignant, spiteful. Her firstborn Reuben is delivered along with a “surely my husband will love me now.” So, she has Simeon and responds with a “Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also.” But that doesn’t seem to make Leah feel any better so she has a third saying, “Now this time my husband will be attached to me.” But her husband isn’t. She even names her children so her husband will be reminded of his failure when he calls to them in the fields.
“Then, finally, finally, she conceives again and says, “This time I will praise the Lord.” This time? Leah, you had three kids, and it took a fourth for you to finally be grateful? Reuben was a gift; Simeon and Levi too, but Judah causes you to praise God. You waited at minimum 36 months to thank God for all he did for you? What a shame!”–is what I said when I read the passage one morning. Then I was quickly reminded: how often do I use God’s gifts out of spite instead of praise? How often am I thankful for my kids for what they do for me in settling my disputes instead of being thankful for them as gifts? How often do I sit back and look at what God has given to me and say, “Ha! So and so wishes their children were like mine; or had a good marriage like mine; or had the leadership ability I have”?
The fact is, Reuben was just as much of a cause for praise and Judah. Leah just couldn’t see it because she was so bent on getting back at Jacob. Instead of worship, she tries to settle the score—”Surely my husband will love me now.” But he didn’t. And most people you are seeking to impress or settle the score with, won’t be impressed or change their attitude. So, you spend months upon months wasting away opportunity to worship the Lord.
God has given us gifts—children, ability, possessions, money, brains, etc. But we often use those gifts to prove something to someone else: to justify our existence rather than live in the truth of our justification. We try to justify our existence in some of these ways:
I work hard to prove I’m worth it to the company.
I take my kids out to practice soccer so the Joneses will see how much better they are than their kids.
I give a lot of money to charity so I can prove I’m worth my income.
We shouldn’t pick on Leah. She’s just like you and me. Offered gifts by God that we in turn squander. I encourage you: reflect on what God has done for you. Have you been using God’s gifts to justify yourself, to settle the score because you think your parents, spouse, friend, boss will love you more now because of it? If so, I challenge you to turn your spite into worship, and, like Leah, sit back and say, “This time I will praise the Lord.” Whether you praise God today or 36 months from now, he has never stopped loving you and giving you things you’ve been unappreciative of. The gifts keep coming, but will you choose, in those moments, to become indignant or worship?