Reactions to the Supreme Court’s decision yesterday to dismiss portions of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) are everywhere. There are throngs of people overjoyed and pundits frustrated or saying this is an awful ruling. I’ll spare you my thoughts on the law itself, because in the midst of the discussion about DOMA is something that I find disturbing: people calling marriage a sacred institution.
Marriage, in its current form, is not a sacred institution.
To hear people talking about marriage as recognized by the government in this way is deeply disturbing to me. Let me show you why.
Can you imagine your state and local government issuing you permits for baptisms?
What would you think if the federal government crafted legislation that defined communion as by common cup, making every church conform their practice of communion to the government’s definition?
This is what has been happening with marriage. The Church has allowed the government to define the sacred aspects of marriage and then been largely frustrated when the government defines it differently than the Church would.
So let us take back the sacredness of marriage.
Not in the sense that most people think. Not in the “put the Christ back in Christmas” sort of way. Trying to get an institution like the government, one that is categorically secular, to align with a definition of the sacred is profoundly odd. Yet we keep trying.
No, if we want to think of marriage as sacred then we need to take back the sacred part. Taking back is probably the wrong phrase, because it can seem like the sacred was taken from us. But in fact, we gave it to the government. We need to take it back because we ceded it to those powers that be.
Thankfully, it’s not that hard. Think with me for a moment, about what makes marriage sacred for you. Is it because the government gave you a piece of paper that said you were? I hope not, because that is as sacred as a driver’s license or a building permit. A marriage license, last time I checked, is not a very sacred piece of paper.
What makes marriage sacred for those of us who follow Christ is the presence of Christ within marriage itself.
Think with me for a moment about a couple who was married in a church, in a traditional Christian wedding service, but then forgot to fill out the paperwork. They were never married in the eyes of the state. Do you think they are married in the eyes of God?
I hope so. Marriage, in a Christian sense, is before God, not the state. A sacred institution is one that is by nature a covenant with the Sacred.
Where do we go from here? Truly, I hope this is a wake up call for the Church to take seriously its obligation to be the place and body where sacred happens. We need to start taking seriously the profound reality of Christian marriage, and we need to build an understanding of Christian marriage as sacred into the life and faith of our local churches. The Church needs to take the lead for marriages within its walls and teach those who follow Christ what is distinctive to Christian marriage.
Remember, the Church is the place where sacred happens. Don’t let any pundit or pastor or passerby tell you otherwise.